Here I am back again (again). Must write blog. Must write.
Specifically, I am honouring Erin at Daisies and Bruises who just came back from the slough of despond and WROTE!!
Last night in South Australia we had a once-in-fifty-years weather event which brought down 23 electricity pylons and blacked out the entire state for at least 8 hours. Once we had heated up some defrosted spinach soup on our (luckily) gas stove there wasn’t much to do except write a little bit of my novel while the laptop had some charge. After that it was knitting-by-candlelight.
Photo by Tom Fedorowytsch of downed pylons at Melrose, South Australia from a total of 23.
I hadn’t done anything with my NaNoWriMo novel for months when I wrote about half a chapter and researched some dialogue. Last night I did a little background writing and research on two characters, the main heroine and the person whose life intrigues the heroine. Incidentally, the basic plot has already inspired two short films by a friend who was taking a Film-making course at a local college of further education! Here is one if you want to know how a first film might turn out. With Grace.
The old Black Dog has been affecting me far less than Erin but I still have not reached my old level of productivity or anywhere near it. Mind you, I am not expecting to get totally back to my version of “normal” as circumstances have changed.
I have been able to reduce my dose of antidepressants to half and I no longer suffer insomnia nor those dreadful “brain zaps” which cause many people to stop taking their medication. Having Omega 6 Fish Oils on a shot of cranberry juice seems to have stopped the zaps completely.
Cognitive re structuring has helped me deal with negative thoughts but I still find myself unable to tolerate daily meditation sessions and I have only the barest of daily routines. This is the sort of therapeutic self-talk I have done. I can get out of bed on time in the mornings with a smile on my face, have breakfast and a shower, plus I can get to any morning appointments, like aquarobics classes, 95 perent of the time.
Socially I am coping fine although I feel the need to get out more and have lunch/movies/coffee with people every second day. Only a few people have ever asked me out to do anything and after 18 months of phoning and Facebooking to invite others I have almost given up. Sometimes I go out shopping and have a coffee or lunch on my own, but that isn’t very social and I could do the same at home. Trips out with a busload of people to wineries and restaurants have been good and I’ve made a few new friends and acquaintances that way.
Continuing our friendly Wednesday night dinners with four mutual friends has been a very stable influence on my mental health even when I found it difficult to sit there for the whole mealtime. I also occasionally have this thing where my ear drums seem to spasm or vibrate, making some voices sound intolerable if they have a lot of high, whispery frequencies.