Day 8 NaBloPoMo: Memories, pets and ashes

Several things crossed my path today which seemed to be vaguely connected- although some people may object to me thinking this.

A Facebook friend living in the Northern Hemisphere had just built a terrific indoor enclosure for her small pets to be sheltered from the cold in winter. The first night she had all the pets inside (cats, guinea pigs and rabbits), was the first snow storm of the year. during the night the house’s back door blew open in the wind and one pet went wandering out, exploring, as he might have done in the daytime. This young rabbit was very unlucky because as he went out at dead of night, in the countryside, quite remote from anywhere on a farm road, what should happen but a truck races by, squashing him in the middle of the lightly snow-covered roadway. Poor little guy- apparently he would have died happy. His owner put a little memorial poem/song on Facebook for him- she was quite attached.
However, I couldn’t go more than halfway through the little video: Thought of You.
The lyrics:

Everything that I said I’d do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on…

I got halfway and I started thinking of my beautiful cat Marmy, who was the twin of one of our cats who are with us now (Mogadon). He died on his third birthday, venturing over our back fence, through adjoining properties and was skittled on the main road leading to the local waterbird sanctuary- he knew where he was going I guess. We found his perfectly preserved, curled -up body in the gutter- hardly a mark on him, but stiff and cold.

I miss him so much- I have only just managed to stop myself from crying evey time I thought about him and now my friend’s rabbit dies in similar circumstances.

Although this may be a tasteless connection to some people (leave now)- I was also reminded of the shortness of life tonight, and how some people cope with their loss in ways that seem strange to others. A friend at our restaurant table told me about the suicide death of one of her sons’ one time school companions- a young woman lawyer who worked for an international charity. She had returned home from the unpromising Copenhagen Convention on Climate Change and had committed suicide.

While the suicide death of a twenty-something year-old is not so uncommon, unfortunately, the way her mum is dealing with the loss is definitely not very adaptive. She carries her daughter’s ashes everywhere with her in a little urn in her handbag. My friend met her out bush-walking– and there were the ashes- brought out for showing as they spoke.

It is very difficult to predict how the self or others will react to death of someone or something to which they are very emotionally attached.

I daresay I will continue to grieve a little for Marmy (and several of his predecessors) for some time yet, but the pain is fading and I know it will all fade into the background one day. However, I don’t carry a little collection of his fur or anything around with me- I know it wouldn’t help and would probably REMIND me all the time of the loss. What is going to happen to that poor mother with the ashes?

R.I.P. Marmy

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