Generous me (?)

I’m a bit sensitive, I can over-think & sometimes worry about what I’ve said or done later on. I’m a lot better than I used to be and more certain of the “rightness” & “ownership” of my thoughts, words & actions. However, I can get “attacks” of self-obsession when I’m more depressed, but nowadays my victories are far more often than my defeats.

As I reminded a blog-friend [?fiend?], I can be very assertive about discounts when checkout operators ring up the original, non-discounted price- I just say “No!, I’m sure you’re mistaken. Please check.” Always works.

As readers of my blog might have noted a few weeks ago, I have had a rough patch on the artistic side of my life, involving a cafe owner who went back on their word to hang my photographs AFTER I had spent Spotrick’s money on the frames. It upset me a lot for a day or two, I felt so exploited and guilty as well. Then I decided to  take a positive step and approach the local Council Arts Officer, who came up with great solutions for me and I’m fine about all that now.

Two of my sushi dishes

This week I even fought off a gallery owner who had mistakenly deposited $800 in my bank account when they asked for it all back. Previously I had celebrated selling some glass work at their gallery after having zero income from it for many years. I’ve been pleased & happy about the sales for weeks now- told all my friends etc. But THEN I got a phone call from the gallery proprietor saying the mistaken deposits had occurred. Although I explained that I had no job or independent income she asked if I could make an arrangement with Centrelink to pay the money “back to her” gradually! Great idea- except I don’t get any benefits through Centrelink- I’m totally dependent on Spotrick. There was no way I could pay back all the money, although there was half of it remaining in my bank account. I told the woman I was willing to pay back half voluntarily but there was little hope I could obtain any more money for the rest. She called me mean, unethical, a thief & other things, which I felt very hurt about.

However, armed with the mental strength from all my recent therapy, thyroid level correction,  fish oil & Vitamin D oil supplements, endorphins from exercising & renewed strength & less nagging pain in my hands due to arthritis treatment, I was determined to stand up for myself. So I calmly & assertively said to her (after nearly crumbling & bursting into tears),“YOUR MISTAKE LADY! I’m keeping half because I’ve already spent it quite innocently.” Buggered if I was going to make Spotrick pay for their mistake in not being able to distinguish a glass artist from a printmaker who had the same name! And “Perhaps you can let me speak to the other artist and we can come to an agreement that both of us have sold things through the gallery & we can share the losses as well as the sales?” But no, she wanted the whole lot back, without a legal leg to stand on. She told me I would get a call from her accountant but I didn’t. The accountant probably told her she’d done her cash by depositing it in my account! I have voluntarily deposited half the total in the gallery’s bank account & I’m totally happy with the outcome & my own behaviour now.

Two bee rose

 I reckon they are lucky I am a fair person by actually giving half back. I said NO & I’m happy- no guilty thoughts at all. Yayy!!!

PS. You wouldn’t believe it, but the gallery has now rung me a few days later saying they deposited ANOTHER $800 by mistake in my account. I was just about laughing my guts out, but I demurely got online right then, during the phone call & transferred it all back to them. Talk about incompetence- they’ll have to pull up their socks in their accounting department! They didn’t even notice when I thanked them via email for the original unexpected deposit by saying “Wow- thanks for selling another piece of my GLASS” when the stuff they had sold were prints! Any more deposits will immediately be spent on more frames for my photo exhibition!

REPLY

Day 21 NaBloPoMo: Play the “Get the Parent” game!

Although I’m not a parent, I know my friends have been through mobile phone wars with their kids- some of it ongoing. The girl next door did $450 worth of text messages in a week when she was first given her phone for scheduling car pick-up from school. It was the usual story of kids putting the phone on “Silent” and SMS-ing each other in class. Everyone has similar stories- eventually parents find a solution that works, although some not before having to pay an enormous bill! It’s just disgraceful it can occur- we need some responsible set-up rules for phone companies with teen clients.

 

OK- so that’s all old news now, but the TV sprung a new one on me this morning! Apparently there are several iPhone/iPad game apps that are free or very cheap (like 99 cents), but within the game the players can buy extra stuff that helps them go faster or give them more privileges etc. Although most [trusting, naive] parents would think the same way the presenter did- that the internal transactions of the game would be with “Play Money” as they are in Facebook Games like “Cafe World” etc., IN FACT these things are paid for in REAL MONEY through the online iTunes account- the kids have the password so they can use the phone!

The presenter on the show was in shock when this was revealed..”You mean when my kids play that penguin game and buy scarves to keep their penguins warm, they are using my credit card??”. Yep said the tame geek. “But I thought they were only Penguin Dollars”, surely they’re not real??”- Have a look at your credit card statement was the reply…

 

This sounded like a real shocker to me, so we had a look on Spotrick’s iPhone, finding the “Smurf Village” game which they had also mentioned- sure enough, when you bought strawberries or whatever for the little Smurfs and Smurfettes, the money was the genuine article!! There was a small statement near where the app. could be downloaded for free- but what parent has ever seen it? Kid yells from the bedroom- “Mum…can I download this free Smurf’s game to play on the iPad?”- “You’re sure it’s free?”- “Yeah Mum-look”… “OK!”. $600 credit card bill later…OMG!!!!! *&77%%$#$

Not a good look. I think this is a pretty sneaky practice and BAD PUBLICITY for iPhone. Who’s betting the apps or the real money parts are pulled back shortly?

Day 21 NaBloPoMo: iPhone “Get the Parent” game

Although I’m not a parent, I know my friends have been through mobile phone wars with their kids- some of it ongoing. The girl next door did $450 worth of text messages in a week when she was first given her phone for scheduling car pick-up from school. It was the usual story of kids putting the phone on “Silent” and SMS-ing each other in class. Everyone has similar stories- eventually parents find a solution that works, although some not before having to pay an enormous bill! It’s just disgraceful it can occur- we need some responsible set-up rules for phone companies with teen clients.

OK- so that’s all old news now, but the TV sprung a new one on me this morning! Apparently there are several iPhone/iPad game apps that are free or very cheap (like 99 cents), but within the game the players can buy extra stuff that helps them go faster or give them more privileges etc. Although most [trusting, naive] parents would think the same way the presenter did- that the internal transactions of the game would be with “Play Money” as they are in Facebook Games like “Cafe World” etc., IN FACT these things are paid for in REAL MONEY through the online iTunes account- the kids have the password so they can use the phone!

The presenter on the show was in shock when this was revealed..”You mean when my kids play that penguin game and buy scarves to keep their penguins warm, they are using my credit card??”. Yep said the tame geek. “But I thought they were only Penguin Dollars”, surely they’re not real??”- Have a look at your credit card statement was the reply…

This sounded like a real shocker to me, so we had a look on Spotrick’s iPhone, finding the “Smurf Village” game which they had also mentioned- sure enough, when you bought strawberries or whatever for the little Smurfs and Smurfettes, the money was the genuine article!! There was a small statement near where the app. could be downloaded for free- but what parent has ever seen it? Kid yells from the bedroom- “Mum…can I download this free Smurf’s game to play on the iPad?”- “You’re sure it’s free?”- “Yeah Mum-look”… “OK!“. $600 credit card bill later…OMG!!!!! *&77%%$#$

Not a good look. I think this is a pretty sneaky practice and BAD PUBLICITY for iPhone. Who’s betting the apps or the real money parts are pulled back shortly?

Day 7 NaBloPoMo: Quickie not following a prompt!

A few days ago I received a terrific surprise in the mail- an annual report on my World Vision Child in Haiti! She had survived the massive earthquake and problems afterwards. I hope she doesn’t get cholera- but her report said she was very healthy and hadn’t visited the doctor for anything other than a check-up.

Her name is Chrislove Dorce and she is 11 years old. She lives with her parents in a small tacked-together dwelling on a hillside with a tiny area of farm and some goats and chooks. She doesn’t do well at school and is repeating 3rd grade of primary school for the third time in 2011. She doesn’t look academic and never mentions books or enjoying school. I guess she is not the type, poor little thing. I don’t really see a rosy future for her, but she is alive, healthy and may change a lot before she becomes an adult. The French schooling system there is not very forgiving of children who don’t have good basic skills and logical thought- she starts at a disadvantage. However, I can’t go over there and offer her an alternative, just keep my fingers crossed she doesn’t get totally pissed off and leave before she can read a health warning sign!

The letter from her district office came just as I was becoming quite distressed over the currently-running World Vision ad on TV. I keep looking at the little boy- “Apilat” I think is his name, according to the big youngster narrating the ad. The poor little one needs sponsorship because he is malnourished, drinks dirty water, has malaria and often has diarrhoea. I hope the big boy is able to get a scholarship to enter teachers college as he wishes and that “Apilat” and his compatriots gain sponsors.

I can’t contribute more- my partner is already putting in my usual contribution because I have no job or regular income. If I had a job, I could sponsor another child, but that will have to wait.

Meanwhile- how about anyone who reads this post giving it some thought?? Any contribution is better than the possibility of one child suffering longer, in my opinion.

 

New Year’s Day 12 noon

Last night no alcohol- this morning, no hangover- yayy!! However, we had to get up early as Bridie and AJ were off to drive to Melbourne and subsequently Zeehan, Tasmania. Bridie has gone for a short but indefinite stay, summoned by her old friend Alan who needs company as he goes through the last stages of bone cancer- very sad. AJ has gone to drive the Jeep with caravan and dog in tow so Bridie has some accommodation at various times. AJ will fly back to the mainland in a few days to resume her uranium-mining job at Roxby Downs.
It has been a busy time having them stay 3 months, with one on the family room sofa and the other on a new chair sofa in the front room! We all thought they would only stay a few weeks originally but the job market was not very bright for either of them for a while. Now AJ has the mining job (after training to be both a heavy-rigid vehicle driver and a security guard) and Bridie has as much part-time work as she can handle with a “helping hand” agency looking after the disabled.
During this time I managed to complete a semester of my Masters in Public Health, although I had nowhere to study quietly and do my assignments- didn’t do quite as well as expected, but ended up with a Credit anyway.
My mood is a lot better than it was 3 months ago, although it took a few dives under the stress of coping with extra people in the house 24 hours a day! I know it was a big ask of myself to cope with house guests when I’m not wildly OK myself- but I could hardly leave them homeless- I would expect other people to look after me in a similar situation!
I think the cats will be relieved to have their humans back unaccompanied! Poor Moggsy has been extra shy about coming into the house for food- if she hears Bridie’s voice approaching while she’s feeding she runs and won’t return to finish her meal. Consequently she’s lost some weight- which isn’t all bad! Bendix adapted reasonably quickly but has been a little ratty at times- he was disappointed that Kevin was a dog and not a cat as he wanted to play with him on an equal basis! Moustiers thought Bridie and AJ ALWAYS lived here, and only haunted us in bed at night as she always did- why she couldn’t haunt AJ more often I don’t know!
Our back garden is somehow surviving the 40degC days, although the magnolia tree is burnt again and another cypress pine lost its top in a whippy breeze. The petunias are mostly OK in their pots and starting to flower, we have a pot tomato thriving, some chives and a few pigface ground covers. The cumquats are greener than last year, but not very healthy yet. I wish they’d come good- perhaps they need root pruning and larger pots?
The atrium plants are OK- tuberous begonias are starting to flower and the liliums have finished. the camellias seem to be withstanding the heat as long as we put the sprayers on often to keep the air moist. I bought some colourful resin pots from Ikea but haven’t managed to plant anything in them. They are supposed to be standing in 2 neat rows on the plant stand in the atrium so we have something colourful at eye level! Fingers crossed- I still have to drill holes in the bases for drainage.
So life goes on at Number 13 and we hope 2010 will be happier and healthier. I’ll put in a big wish for WEALTHIER! Greedy me- but I would like to go back to my old way of living with a minimum of money worry! I don’t want to live in luxury- especially the sort of thing that is publicised as “luxurious celebrity-style”- no gold taps for me- just let me pay the bills on time and go to the movies occasionally!

Giving things up

Yep- it will sound like another whinge, but I think I’ll write it down, just to get it out… I seem to have given up all sorts of little things to try to conserve money, since I’m rarely earning any, but it doesn’t seem to have had much effect on the home finances. Should I keep depriving myself, (and Spotrick for some of them), and try to concentrate on the longer term, or maybe cheer myself up a bit with some familiar treats? The trouble is, we seem to live in a level of constant, steady debt- it doesn’t get any bigger now, but it doesn’t reduce. I can’t see any way (other than winning the lottery or a secret surprise benefactor) that we can cut any more off it. On the other hand, if I reinstate the little luxuries of life, it will only put us into a few hundred dollars more debt over the year…hmm, but a few hundred is still more than zero. I’m quite obsessed with this, eh?!
Let’s see what I/we have given up. I gave up all my magazine subscriptions (I had about half a dozen, I guess)- home and garden stuff, craft things- nothing individually expensive; I’ve given up several items in the weekly grocery shopping- tonic water (that was good for the cramps caused by my tablets), potato crisps (noms- that was a hard one!), icecream, sweet biscuits (which were only occasional anyway), any sort of nuts other than South Australian almonds (because Brazil nuts and hazelnuts that I used to have for lunch, are imported and much more expensive than almonds), regular good red meat- we just have it about once a week now, spices in glass jars (we stick to the plastic packets and bulk buys), good wine (where we didn’t mind the price of a bottle up to about $40 in the bottle shop), all spirits (we haven’t bought any for years, actually- too expensive), soft drinks like Coke, frozen prepared savoury or sweet treats.
I don’t buy myself new clothes even when I really lust after something- before I would buy the occasional thing, maybe once a month. Now I don’t even look at clothing in shops any more, as it makes me feel rather sad. Even Target seems too expensive most of the time- for what you get, anyway. I suppose I buy 2 new tops for summer and 2 for winter, occasional underwear when things start falling apart. I replaced some jeans that split down the back (they had been $8 at Target 3 years before; I replaced them with $23 ones that are too fat in the bum and legs- but that’s what I get for being small!). Spotrick lives with 2 pairs of jeans- one pair for work that are new and an old pair for weekends- no other trousers except trackpants. He has a set of 5 black T shirts and 5 white ones- bought in bulk- plain Bonds ones. That’s his viable clothing! He treated himself to an Ubuntu T-shirt and fleece jacket last year, nothing else.
We haven’t got a digital set top box, although we may get a cheap one soon- we haven’t got cable/Foxtel/satellite and don’t really miss them although they might help our conversational inclusion! We don’t buy DVDs or download movies etc and we no longer buy an occasional music CD. Neither of us have iPods or MP3 players of any sort and never download iTunes etc.
We do have nice cameras for our main hobby, photography- Steve even has an SLR with a 200mm telephoto lens that he got in 2008. I bought a new larger point and shoot camera with a pay cheque I got for some research work and I’m quite happy with it.
Spotrick’s car has been pulled over by the police for too much smoke- he has to get the engine rebored or replaced, or he’ll have to get another car. It’s about 20 plus years old- he bought it for $3000 when we moved to our current house as we’d lived right in the city before. He tried the bus, but found it too crowded and he kept catching colds and flu and missing work.
My car is more than 10 years old now- it’s a tiny little Korean thing that’s already had a cracked head (welded) and hasn’t been serviced for two years- not good. I don’t use it much- only put petrol in it once every 6 weeks, but I’d rather use it than rely on the bus as I’m no good at carrying groceries and things- I’m too short and things are either too heavy and/or drag on the ground- I find it really hard to drag a trolley up bus steps- too heavy.
I have managed to avoid buying any of the textbooks for my uni course- I just borrow similar books from the library and that seems to work fine, even when they ask us to read specific chapters- I just fake it! I haven’t photocopied anything either- can get stuff as pdfs on the laptop and read them there.
We DO socialise with friends at a restaurant every Wednesday and eat and drink quite well, but our friends subsidise the bill so we never pay too much- they are fantastic! We used to have a group of us who went to the SA Theatre Company season of plays every year, but we’ve given up, so we just have dinner with them instead.
I’ve given up my aquarobics classes once or twice a week that I had been attending for 15 months- too expensive. Most people in the class got them cheap as they had private health insurance- but I can’t afford that either! (And I don’t really believe in it.)
I try not to turn the heating on during the day during winter, nor the air conditioning during summer- electricity bills are humongous! I never thought years ago that I would have to do this, but it’s necessary now- I just lie down in the summer and wait for it to cool down, or for Spotrick to come home; in winter I hop into bed with a book or the laptop and stay warm that way- a few mogs on the legs works a treat!
I don’t go for regular coffees or lunches with friends- just once a week for a quick lunch with a uni friend so I get a little social contact.
We don’t buy regular new seedlings and bulbs for the garden- I have grown the occasional batch of things from seed, but I’m too distracted/depressed to look after them mostly- we’ve got a good batch of chives and rocket currently but no spring flower seedlings. We got rid of most of the roses as they were spindly and hardly ever produced a good crop of flowers- but the yard is rather sad without colour and I’m not sure what we’ll do there. My garden used to be my pride and joy- photographs of other people’s gardens suffice now.
Anyway, it’s hard living a much more restricted life than I was used to for about 25 years. I know I have a pretty good life compared to alot of other people, but change is difficult for anyone. I feel under the thumb, I feel as though I have lost much of my independence by not having a regular income; I even feel a bit “imprisoned” and sometimes want to scream-”let me out, let me out”- but I guess it’s a psychological restriction and I can’t escape that without help …which I can’t get and can’t afford. So here I am.